I’m sitting here this morning (9:51am), at my kitchen
counter, contemplating what I have to get done in the short amount of hours I
have today. I just received a text message from a client saying it was “URGENT
and had to be fixed TODAY.” Legally speaking it isn’t urgent and it doesn’t
have to be fixed today. It’s urgent because she thinks, in her life, at this
moment, it’s urgent. This client contacts our firm EVERYDAY with information,
concerns and issues that don’t matter to their case. Their case goes to trial
in mid-September – all she is doing is creating more work for me (which costs
her more money), when I could be preparing her trial. Ok, rant over on that.
So, I’m now 30 years and 8 days old. (When I started this I
was, now I’m at 30 and 18 days ;D) I’m so “old,” right?! Just kidding! :D I’m actually ok
with turning 30. I love waking up early to go work out, I love working, and my
career is going great. I recently got divorced so my personal life was crazy
earlier this year but I’m in a good place. For the first time, I’m happy just
being me. Am I perfect? I’d like to think so. I’m just kidding… kinda… ok, no
really, I’m far from perfect but I think the person I am is pretty awesome. I’m
finally at a point in my life where I’m physically healthy. Even more than I
was in high school. I feel strong, confident and I have extracurricular
activities that are AMAZING!
I have an amazing group of family and friends. I’ve met new
people; some I wish I hadn't while others I’m happy to bring them into this adventure called: Mayra's life.
This is a common occurrence in my life. I get text messages,
voice mails, emails, Facebook messages, and other forms of communication at
various times of the day/night, weekends, holidays; ALL THE TIME. I often get
asked by older attorneys why I don’t have work/life balance? Why would I give
my cell phone to clients? Can’t you just shut off your phone? Don’t respond.
Here’s the answer. I am building a business. Not just an ok
law firm in St. Charles where I can work in the surrounding counties. I want to
build a multi-state law practice. Not just a firm that practices law in
Illinois and Missouri but one that practices law in Texas, California, New
York, EVERYWHERE. Could I be successful just in Missouri or Only in Illinois
and Missouri? Of course! But that’s not all I want! I didn’t work my ass off,
take on massive amounts of student loans and lose a marriage so that I could be
satisfied with ok. Some attorneys only want their small practice and that is
ok; for them. Not for me.
I get so pissed off
thinking about this. How is it fair to question my work/life balance? I’m
young, barely 3 years into my profession and a woman. I have to work, at least,
twice as hard for people to take me seriously, to value my opinion and to give
me the opportunity to show them what I can do.
I don’t think most people that ask me(really, it’s tell me) about
work/life balance remember what it was
like to start a law practice, don’t understand what it’s like to be a young,
female attorney, and/or don’t have the same goals that I have.
I give client’s my cell number because I’m not in the office
all the time. Also, I practice a lot of law that might have situations come up
at night, weekends, etc. The police don’t just arrest you between 8-5, M-F.
I work all the time because I’m not just working on the
legal issues of a case; I’m also managing a business. I have expenses,
employees, payroll, taxes, accounts receivable and every other issue that comes
with a business. Then I network. I spend time with other attorneys because my
firm doesn't practice everything. It’s also good to find other attorneys that
you can refer work to or use if you need a Guardian ad Litem or a Mediator.
In the next few years I want to have an office in at least 5
states. How am I going to do that? By working my ass off; sacrificing what I
might want short term (boyfriend, kids, etc.) for a long term goal. People ask me when I’m going to
have kids? When will I date seriously? When will I remarry? Do you want to be all alone? Is that something you’d ask a male attorney who wanted to do the
same thing? No. I get asked so many questions just because I’m a woman. When I
was married it was, “What does your husband think?” “Doesn’t he want kids?” My
ex-husband was very supportive in the beginning. The reason we got divorced was more than just
my working. But the bottom line is my ex-husband didn’t want the same things I wanted.
Do older men ask male attorneys about their work/life balance? No.
Now, that
I’m single I get asked, “How are you going to date if you’re constantly work?”
“How/when are you going to have kids? My answers are always the same. “Dating
isn’t a priority for me, right now. At least not with men that don't understand what I want in life. Besides, I don’t have time for anything
serious, with someone who isn't going to support my goals. If it’s (a relationship or anything else) going to happen, it’ll happens.” Also, “You don’t need to be
married to have kids.” and “I’ll have kids when I’m ready.” I also throw in the
joke that I have a friend who is willing to help me out, in that area, if I am
not married and have kids by the age of 35. LOL!
Unless I’m asking you for advice, which I rarely do, I don’t
need to know about my lack of work/life balance. On my trip to San Antonio, as
I sat across the table from my niece and nephew I thought, “Hey, I should have
one of these right now. Where did I go so wrong in my life that my marriage
failed and I don’t have a kid yet. I knew we were ready. I know, I’m ready now.”
Could I jump into it now? Of course! After I got done feeling sorry for myself
(A momentary lapse) I realized, I don’t want a kid now. If I were pregnant
today would I keep it? No. My baby, right now, is my law firm. While I am sad occasionally
at my decisions, I don’t regret them. They have all made me who I am today. So,
don’t worry about me. I am very happy with my life and I’ll be ok. At least
until I’m 35! LOL. ;)
