Mayra's Back! Again! LOL.... :/

So....

I've decided to return to Tae Kwon Do (TKD) for, what feels like, the one billionth time. Whoa, I'm not quitting Crossfit! I'm just adjusting my schedule! Sheesh, calm down, lol! Ok, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic (that's how I roll)  but I started TKD in September of 2006 and then, different things (excuses) have caused me to quit, go back, quit... repeat. 

I LOVE TKD. I mean, LOOOOOOOOVE it! The classes are fun, the people are great, and there are so many benefits!

I always wanted to do a martial art (specifically Karate) when I was a kid but my family could never afford it. When I "grew up" I decided I was going to join a school where a friend attended. I went to observe a class at the Lyndell Institute. I went to just watch an hour class. The style they teach is Chung Do Kwan TKD. It is very similar to Shotokan Karate. After class, I was invited to do the class. I thought, "Are they nuts? I've never done this before." I was a junior in college, 22 years old and just wanted to "check it out." LOL. Well, never one to back out of a challenge, I did the class. I've been hooked ever since. 

I was so nervous. You have so many different levels, ages of people, traditions, and they are speaking Korean! A bit intimidating? Nope! Sharon and Jamie were amazing! The values they teach at the school make you feel comfortable with everyone. Nice and/or encouraging are not accurate enough descriptions of the environment they've created. It was so easy to do my first class and so easy to join. I never felt like I was holding anyone back and I received the individual attention I needed. I never looked back after that first class. 

The classes are fun. Everyone can have their own goals and still get something out of the class. The classes are structured in a certain fashion but are never the same. You are pushed as far as you want and then a little more. Your goals can range from working out to therapeutic; TKD is for everyone! The classes are great regardless of your fitness level and the instructors know how to cater to your teaching needs, both physically and mentally. I, personally, love being pushed beyond my limits and picking at the details. I think the instructors at TKD both get and do that for me. If you process information differently, they can do that as well. Plus, you're working with great people in class. 

High ranks, help lower ranks. If you don't get something, it's ok. We're all there to learn something. At one moment or another everyone struggles with something. Yet, I have NEVER seen anyone get made fun of due to not knowing what to do or how to do something. These people aren't just your classmates, or workout buddies, they are and will become family. I've never been judged for quitting or given any crap for my excuses. I'm just welcomed back every time. No questions asked. If you need something in or outside of class, someone is going to help you.

In addition to the classes and people there are so many benefits. I get  cardio, stretching, and stress relief. TKD is therapy. I walk in and leave life at the door. I can laugh, hangout, work hard, and talk to people about anything. I also LOVE to spar. The confidence and self esteem comes with your training and it's just amazing to see how everything you learn in class not only serves a purpose it translates into your everyday life. 

As with anything you do; you get out what you put in. So, here's my attempt at putting into TKD what I want to get out of it. To all my TKD friends and family, please feel free to "make/encourage" me go to class. At this point, I'm excited to go back. I don't want that to go away. So, maybe my first goal should just be to get to class. Blow up my phone, Facebook, whatever because, this matters so much to me. :) I know there are many TKD schools out there but I LOVE where I train. It's not just a business; it's a FAMILY. 

It's funny; my Crossfit gym and TKD school are so similar but so different. I am very lucky to have found both places. I need both to be the person I am because they fulfill different needs in my life. Crossfit has done so much for me and I can NEVER give that up. However, when I realized TKD had a 5:15am class I was pumped! I've changed my Personal Training days and I'm ready to go. Occasionally, I can't make it due to Court in the morning but I'll figure it out. I always do! 

Dating 101.... Ummmm... I think I'm doing it wrong...

In the past few weeks I've ventured into the dating world. Some people are shocked that it's so soon after I got divorced but I think my divorce was inevitable. Andy and I lived as roommates and friends for the longest time. I've mentioned it to a couple of people but my divorce was cathartic. I feel freer, lighter and just plain happy.

Anyway, last week, I mentioned that I was meeting people online. Whether you agree with online dating, dating in a more traditional way or something different, it  doesn't matter. The issues are still going to be the same. You never really know a person until you've spent a decent amount of time with them. Everyone has the persona that they are when they meet new people.

I know I say this all the time, it's cause I really mean it, but my friends are amazing. Here are some rules I've been told and I'll tell you what I think or how I've f'ed it up. They aren't in any particular order and are by no means all of them. These are just some that stick out.

1. Meet in a public place for the first time. (So, I did this every time except once.... well, we met in my neighborhood and went for a run so it's kinda public....plus, he was hot) Ok, so that was totally dumb but I'm learning. Plus, I trusted my gut. I know I shouldn't have done that; so, I wont.

2. Dont give out personal information. Ok, so I'm not very clever so when I created my account for one website I used my last name for the user name but "hid" my first name. However, when people ask for your first name and then your username is your last name it's dumb. Also, I'm kinda famous on the internet. LOL. Overall, keep some stuff for yourself until you get to know people. I mean, leave a little mystery!

3. Don't go boy (or girl) crazy. In other words, when you are online there seem to be an endless "supply" of people. Don't just start talking to everyone. Doing that leads to being overwhelmed and you end up wasting time on people you wouldn't have been interested in. The idea is to make a list of the criteria you want and then do some research. The profiles are there for a reason. Just because you are physically attracted to someone doesn't mean you'll like them, as you get to know them better.

The less mess and hassle the easier it'll be to manage your time, dates and people.

4. Know what you're looking for in this process. This kinda of goes with No.3. Whether or certain qualities you're looking for or even the type of relationship you're interested you need to know what you want and not be afraid to ask for it, look for it, and find it! Don't be afraid to make the list of what you want. That way you can weed through the endless "Hi!" messages.

This is by no means an end all be all list. This isn't even the most important lessons I've learned but it is a little glimpse into Mayra's brain. I only put this out there so y'all can see what's up AND as some therapy for this noggin of mine.

Note: Since I started writing this blog on Tuesday, April 8 and now, Sunday April 13, I shut down my two profiles. It was just too much to do, for now. No worries, I'm still dating it'll just be like I stepped back to the 1990s. I wonder if I can find a boombox to follow me around playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU.

Crazy Weirdos

 So, Mayra Flesner is now dating. Yup, drink it up. See what kind of crazy shenanigans I'll get myself into! :D How am I meeting these people you ask? That's a good question. I meet them on online dating sites. I have no qualms about doing this because this is how it works now a days.  There are two websites: Plenty of Fish (PoF) and OKCupid (OkC). So, I'm online because I'm always working and the only people I see are attorneys. We all suck (lawyers) so I figured I'd throw myself into the unsuspecting way of a nice, normal, guy.

Also, I'd like to say that I'm not dating to get re-married quickly or to fool around or whatever. I'm just hanging out with people. I'm having fun, no real expectations, and am seeing where it takes me. If I find the "love of my life," ok. If I meet a new friend; perfect! If nothing comes from it, that's a-ok! :)

There is so much that I apparently didn't know about dating. Especially online dating. I've been out of the scene for so long that everything has kinda changed. So it generally goes like this:

1. People find a person that they think they would get along with or are attracted to and message that person.
2. After a sufficient amount (socially acceptable) of messaging it either fades away or you move to the awesome part of giving them your number!
3. Then you text and in some instances, talk on the phone! Talking is pretty old school but I love it! It makes me feel like I'm 15 all over again. LOL.
4. If you make it past that... then you might meet!

Steps 1-3; I'm solid. It's the meeting part that I struggle in. I have to make an effort to meet up with people I don't know and don't have a real emotional connection with; albeit yet. My schedule sucks. I'm sure it's all my fault for not really making an effort but people can be pretty impatient. Some people are really patient and those guys are very nice!

So the blog this week is about the guys I've met. It hasn't been terrible. I'm not writing this to complain. I'm genuinely wondering what the fuck is going on here! I want to be clear. I have personally met some REALLY nice, cool people but unfortunately, that's not very interesting to people. LOL. I'm also wondering if there's anything to do about the crazies. Like, how do I get them to go away without being mean or an Order of Protection (J/K... but seriously).

So, I've gone out with a few guys and some have been fun and great, some are awkward and others I wonder how they managed to fool me into thinking they were normal.

They range in ages from 24 to 36. Their levels of education range from high school graduates to masters degrees. Anyway, the point is that the weirdos seem to outnumber the fun, nice and normal ones. Here are just a few examples of things that have been said or done:

• "Don't fuck up something that could be great. We are so close to fucking this up.... (after 2 dates)"
• Constant phone calls and texts, per hour, while I'm working, 8-5pm. (After hours is different.)
• Getting mad at me for working all the time. (My profile specifically says I work ALL THE TIME and that it's my main priority!
• "If you're not getting it from me, then you gotta be getting it from someone else." (What?! Just because I'm not having sex with you doesn't mean that I'm having sex with everyone else!)

Those are just a few of the winners. So, this just sounds crazy, right?! I mean we don't even know each other that well. 

Anyway, again, some of these guys are great. I do want to give credit where credit is due. I've had some really nice guys who have planned some awesome date.

Maybe, I'm the weird one since I don't know how it goes. I'll continue to post updates about my adventures and ya'll can tell me whether I'm crazy or not!

Next time I write, I'll talk more about the dating rules and what I've learned!