In the past few weeks I've ventured into the dating world. Some people are shocked that it's so soon after I got divorced but I think my divorce was inevitable. Andy and I lived as roommates and friends for the longest time. I've mentioned it to a couple of people but my divorce was cathartic. I feel freer, lighter and just plain happy.
Anyway, last week, I mentioned that I was meeting people online. Whether you agree with online dating, dating in a more traditional way or something different, it doesn't matter. The issues are still going to be the same. You never really know a person until you've spent a decent amount of time with them. Everyone has the persona that they are when they meet new people.
I know I say this all the time, it's cause I really mean it, but my friends are amazing. Here are some rules I've been told and I'll tell you what I think or how I've f'ed it up. They aren't in any particular order and are by no means all of them. These are just some that stick out.
1. Meet in a public place for the first time. (So, I did this every time except once.... well, we met in my neighborhood and went for a run so it's kinda public....plus, he was hot) Ok, so that was totally dumb but I'm learning. Plus, I trusted my gut. I know I shouldn't have done that; so, I wont.
2. Dont give out personal information. Ok, so I'm not very clever so when I created my account for one website I used my last name for the user name but "hid" my first name. However, when people ask for your first name and then your username is your last name it's dumb. Also, I'm kinda famous on the internet. LOL. Overall, keep some stuff for yourself until you get to know people. I mean, leave a little mystery!
3. Don't go boy (or girl) crazy. In other words, when you are online there seem to be an endless "supply" of people. Don't just start talking to everyone. Doing that leads to being overwhelmed and you end up wasting time on people you wouldn't have been interested in. The idea is to make a list of the criteria you want and then do some research. The profiles are there for a reason. Just because you are physically attracted to someone doesn't mean you'll like them, as you get to know them better.
The less mess and hassle the easier it'll be to manage your time, dates and people.
4. Know what you're looking for in this process. This kinda of goes with No.3. Whether or certain qualities you're looking for or even the type of relationship you're interested you need to know what you want and not be afraid to ask for it, look for it, and find it! Don't be afraid to make the list of what you want. That way you can weed through the endless "Hi!" messages.
This is by no means an end all be all list. This isn't even the most important lessons I've learned but it is a little glimpse into Mayra's brain. I only put this out there so y'all can see what's up AND as some therapy for this noggin of mine.
Note: Since I started writing this blog on Tuesday, April 8 and now, Sunday April 13, I shut down my two profiles. It was just too much to do, for now. No worries, I'm still dating it'll just be like I stepped back to the 1990s. I wonder if I can find a boombox to follow me around playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU.
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